just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize