Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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