I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish they made helmets for livers.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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