Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
