I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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