It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
