your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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