I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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