I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
