OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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