I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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