he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
