Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
