Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
