Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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