wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Mom said you looked used
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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