So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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