let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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