who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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