If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
