I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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