You made me cry and you don't even care
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
