U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
