We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
