I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
