shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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