your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
