Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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