about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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