You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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