I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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