what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
