I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
