Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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