I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
