i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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