If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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