Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
May the power of my ass compel you!!
you made out with another girl for some wings
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
