i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
