So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
