Someone shit on the floor
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
