I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
