Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
handjob tips. give me some.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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