I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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