they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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