you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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