OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish i was in the wii world.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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