When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize