I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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