Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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