not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize