My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize