So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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