I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
