I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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