last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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