I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
