you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
