i think my mom watched the whole time
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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