garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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