I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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