3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want to make a zoo with you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
