I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
