chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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