sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
two words...techno handjob
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
