last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
